Asked at Mental Floss so I thought I'd answer.
1) If you could have written any movie in history – or, more accurately, if you could tell people that you’d written any movie in history – what would it be?
I suppose I might say Clerks, but not as perverse. Kevin Smith has a knack at writing dialogue that doesn't seem forced or unnatural, yet within it's absurdness there can be some depth and insight. So instead of Clerks I'll say Dogma.
2) What’s a food you’d fake a fainting spell to avoid having to eat?
Mushrooms and Olives.
3) What historical figure (pre-1900) would have made the best mental_floss blogger?
4) With what character – book, film, stage or television – do you most relate?
A little bit of Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer.
5) Coin a new phrase that means “I’m having a good time at this party.”
"It's falling off the bone!"