I Couldn't Even Dance Like This:

Headline

Kate Hudson Trying to Stay Single as Long as Possible

 

I saw this headline today and thought that I had to use this as my new excuse in life.  I’m “trying” to stay single as long as possible. 

It ain’t easy either.  There are offers daily.  I literally have had to avoid mousetrap-like contraptions where people are trying to ensnare me into a relationship.  I swear my dating relationship resembles the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark, where Indy has to avoid poisoned darts, booby traps, deep pits and one huge rolling boulder.  But just like Indy I seem to make it out each and every time; with my trust hat to boot.

Yep, me and Kate Hudson sure have it hard.  We have to actually work at not having relationships.

“Trying”

Good Lord, if only that were the truth.  That I was actually “trying” to stay single. 

Bless your heart Kate Hudson…here I was thinking you were single because people were afraid that by dating you they would have to watch one of your awful movies.  Even worse, they might have to watch one of your every-other-movie-starring-Matthew McConaughey (one of these worst actors ever!).  But I admit when I’m wrong; you were trying to stay single.