Last night in my community group the icebreaker question was this:
Name one thing that you are good at. (Yeah I know…not really a question, but I kept my mouth shut.)
Then of course we had to go around in a circle and everyone has to share. First off I hate that. I hate the expectation of having to answer.
The problem was I really couldn’t think of anything. I ended up giving some BS response that I didn’t really believe.
Now I’m not looking for pity or responses on what you think I’m good at. Even if you were to offer a valued opinion I probably can’t accept it at this point as it would seem to me only a response to this post. Not necessarily genuine in my eyes. However, I’m sure you, my readers, are incredibly honest people, although a little foolhardy to be following/reading what I spout out.
And what I’m not saying is that I’m not good at anything. I have a good sense of humor and a good amount of patience and I’m incredibly good looking. Also I have a good sense of humor and a good self image. If golden stars were passed out for Seinfeld quoting skills, well…I’d have a lot of golden stars. And I can list several other things, but moving on, what I am also not saying is that I don’t have things that I enjoy doing either. (That’s a poorly constructed sentence, but I don’t feel like fixing it). I love to organize things. I love bring order where there was chaos. I love youth and youth ministry. I love sharing the Bible. I love doing a lot of things.
Some of my negativism is because I’m my own worst critic, but some of it is because really I don’t know what I good for. You can be good at things, but unless you are acknowledged and appreciated and using your talents, what is…what you’re good at…good for? Being good at something and not using it is worthless. If you have NBA talents but never pick up a basketball, are you really good at the sport? Loving something that seemingly refuses to embrace you, well that just seems sad. If you are the second coming of Jimmy Stewart, but never win an acting audition are you really a good actor?
Just a peak into what steals my joy and robs my passion:
I feel like the past couple of years my hope has diminished and I’m fading into oblivion.
And I don’t know what to do with that.
[I don’t know if I’ve shared this with anybody, opening myself up this much (and this isn’t much). And I can’t say why I feel the need to do so tonight. This is me trying to be more honest, and this seems to be my most effective forum for speaking this kind of truth. - TSH]