Confession: Navy Seal

Before the rumors go any further I want to make a confession: I was never a Navy SEAL.
Now it's obvious to me why many would mistakenly assume that I have been; my MacGyver like ingenuity, the strength I demonstrate every time I hammer a disc on the disc golf course, or even my ability to run really fast errands. But it would be a lie if I said that I ever served as a Navy SEAL.
Now if people were to suggest that I once served as an Air Force Special Forces that would be a different story.  Same ending, but a different story.
And because I don't want to end up as a cautionary tale on Yahoo News I'd like to be clear that I was also never an Army Ranger, or a Green Beret, or a Delta force team member, or an AF Air Commando, and not even an elite Para Rescuer.
I'm sure that some of you are still doubting my confession.  I can hear your conspiracy theories now: "Trevor must have been involved in some highly classified operations that require he deny all his training and service in our nations military."  But it was just not true.
It is true that I have seen the movie Navy Seals, starring Charlie Sheen, and it was '80's awesome!'.
I also have seen Under Siege, starring Steven Seagal (which apparently the pastor in the story to the left used as the source of his fake Navy SEAL back story- click on picture to take you to the Yahoo page).  Which begs the question: if you were going to create a fake history to your life, why would ever steal plot lines from a Steven Seagal movie?
If I was going to lift ideas for my fake identity from movies and I needed some military combat experience, I would 'borrow' from Red Dawn (which also starred Charlie Sheen and it's remake will release sometime this year).  Primarily I would borrow from this movie so I could run around and yell "Wolverines!" whenever I wanted.
Nope, while I am a pastor (sadly in the article someone is quoted suggesting that it's pastors who most often lie about military careers and receiving military honors), I have never trained for, or seen combat.  Unless you count those elementary school bus stop battles.
My only military service was as a civilian, as a child care provider for AF daycare.  But between that and serving as a youth pastor, (and my extensive movies-about-war watching) I've seen and done things that are too gruesome to share on this here blog.  So why would I ever need to lie about who I am?
However, now that I think about it, it's time for someone to bring back the Steven Seagal ponytail.