2009-04-27

Captain America

So today I heard or read some blurb about the role of Captain America in the upcoming Marvel movie may be cast with Matthew McConaughey.

Apparently this is just a rumor and not confirmed yet.  Hold on…let me double check with IMDB…um…yeah…nothing confirmed at the IMDB page for the movie.  Although if you’re interested the movie looks to be titled The First Avenger: Captain Amercia.

Now if Matthew McConaughey is cast as Captain America I would like to offer up my review of the movie now and spare myself from writing it later.  Indulge with me:

This movie sucked.  I want to be refunded the price of the ticket.  And because the retched film oozed off the screen so much and ruined my popcorn and slurpee, I also wanted to be refunded for that as well.  (The fact that I still ate the popcorn and drank the slurpee should be of no concern).  I could give you a recap of the story of Captain America, but I’m afraid that the performance of Matthew McConaughey would seep through my words and then cause this review to suck.  Plus the script of Captain America wasn’t bad, but because of the McConaughey casting who could tell?  Who knew Captain America could be so self indulgent.  And I thought Captain America wore a uniform that consisted of a shirt.  I would rather have seen Captain America portrayed by Teddy Ruxpin than Matthew McConaughey.  I dare say I actually enjoyed George Clooney and his Batman nipples more than this disaster of a film. 

Okay that may be somewhat of an exaggeration, but…um…no…that’s exactly how I think that that movie would be.

 

But thankfully the rumor isn’t true.  Thank God for the simplicity of a Google search.

1 comment:

Laura M. Sanders said...

Teddy Ruxpin, huh?