I spent much of the evening saying "Hello, I'm Trevor" to wide-eyed faces of relatives, shocked to see me after so many years.
I'm still trying to work through my thoughts on the whole event. I don't process well. Maybe some day I'll be able to articulate it all clearer.
Aunts and uncles and cousins and of course my father...er...dad...um...I don't know how to quickly reference him. Maybe just Mondo. That's his name.
Severaly close people to me have felt that I needed this reunion and that I have deep seeded emotional issues because of the lack of this relationship.
I don't know about that.
I do know I went to this reunion, not necessarily for myself. I don't have that deep longing inside of me to know these relationships. I can understand my older brothers though who sought these family members out. I just honestly don't. And maybe that's a problem.
I might someday grow to love them.
Several times throughout the night I was told, "Trevor this is your family."
I might someday grow to believe that.
I went to this reunion, because ultimately I felt that I would have been holding something back that others needed. These people needed to see me and have a chance to know me.
I went so I didn't feel guilty for failing to serve someone, when all that would be requied is a simple "showing up".
I'll try to share more as I think about it.
Also there are pictures out there. If I find them I'll post them too.