My Dream Girl Makes Me Question Myself

Okay. So every Monday I have been answering questions that you readers have asked of me. One of those questions was to describe my perfect girl; answering more than my typical response, "a rich girl with low self-esteem and daddy issues" (that makes me laugh). Which at some point I will fully answer for you. Trying to answer that without sounding too shallow or too spiritual-uppity is forcing me to actually think through that response.
However as I'm thinking through the qualities, characteristics and physical appearance of the woman I want to ultimately know more intimately than anyone other person, I am forced to ask some questions of myself.
Tommy Nelson says that before you can be a good husband to your bride you must first be a good bride to your Husband (Jesus). Processing that is challenging me to evaluate my love relationship with Christ. I believe that I should be pursuing Christ with a relentless passion. I also believe that as I pursue Christ, He will reveal to me a woman who is relentlessly running after Him. And that our common pursuit will be our foundation.
So I have to ask myself; Am I pursuing Jesus with a reckless abandonment or are there some areas of my life that I need to place on an alter before God as a living sacrifice? And if there are some areas, what are they and will I truly release them?
The other questions I am currently asking are in regards to my character. Am I the person in private that the woman of my dreams deserves? Specifically are there cracks in my character that would cause or are causing regret or resentment in my relationships?
And finally, since physical appearance is important in whom I am searching for (to some degree, if I'm honest) I need to consider my own appearance and physical presentation. Am I dressing well enough? How's my hair look? Do I smell nice? Should I and how much weight should I lose?

I ask these questions of myself because I don't believe in such a thing as a perfect girl, although Pam from The Office is dog-gone close, rather I believe in a perfect love. And since I am asking God, in His will and in His timing, to give me someone to love, I can not dictate who that is. I can not choose who loves me, I can only choose how I will love her and what I can offer her to love in return.

Um...just some late Saturday night inner ramblings I thought I should share with you all.

But don't worry I won't cop out of the question I was asked. I will share with you some specific aspects I am attracted to in the ladies. Maybe not this Monday but soon.

(I am typing this on my phone and if there are more grammar errors than usual please forgive me. I have trouble proof-reading as is, but for some reason even more so on this thing.)


Alli Hibb said...

How about this? Let's break up Jim and Pam and keep the pieces for ourselves?

i'm beccy. said...

Good for you, Trevor! There are many Godly women out there praying for their own Jim Elliot and pursuing God wholeheartedly, and waiting. So proud of you for looking in and seeking to be the best man you can be! Your wife is thankful you are on this journey and would tell you so if she knew. May God bless you as you seek him and his best for your life.