Songs of My Day:

Three songs have dominated the disco in my head today and I thought I'd share them with you. I italicized the lyrics for you that were really hitting me difficultly. I have to apologize, because when I have mind dumps...the crap tends to hit the floor. Watch your step.

First: The Silence of God by Andrew Peterson

There are some YouTube video out there, but they were attached to some slide show so I didn't want to post on here, but if you want to hear the song, you can find it here.

It's enough to drive a man crazy; it'll break a man's faith

It's enough to make him wonder if he's ever been sane

When he's bleating for comfort from Thy staff and Thy rod

And the heaven's only answer is the silence of God

It'll shake a man's timbers when he loses his heart

When he has to remember what broke him apart

This yoke may be easy, but this burden is not

When the crying fields are frozen by the silence of God

And if a man has got to listen to the voices of the mob

Who are reeling in the throes of all the happiness they've got

When they tell you all their troubles have been nailed up to that cross

Then what about the times when even followers get lost?

'Cause we all get lost sometimes...

There's a statue of Jesus on a monastery knoll

In the hills of Kentucky, all quiet and cold

And He's kneeling in the garden, as silent as a Stone

All His friends are sleeping and He's weeping all alone

And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot

What sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought

So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God

The aching may remain, but the breaking does not

The aching may remain, but the breaking does not

In the holy, lonesome echo of the silence of God

I've been making some big decisions lately. And then reneging on those decisions and starting all over. I think I missed my quarter-life crisis and opted for a third-life one instead.

Numerous people have encouraged me to listen to God, but I can't decide if He's not speaking to me or that there is just too much raging around me. And when you're counsel can not come to a consensus you can often feel like a dizzy child who's spun around a bat.

I love that this song reminds me that "the aching may remain, but the breaking does not". If you know this album of AP's then you might know that the following song decides that after the last tear falls it is God's love that remains.

Second: Welcome Home by Shaun Groves

Take, me, make me
All You want me to be
That's all I'm asking, all I'm asking

Welcome to this heart of mine
I've buried under prideful vines
Grown to hide the mess I've made
Inside of me
Come decorate, Lord
Open up the creaking door
And walk upon the dusty floor
Scrape away the guilty stains
Until no sin or shame remain
Spread Your love upon the walls
And occupy the empty halls
Until the man I am has faded
No more doors are barricaded

Chorus:
Come inside this heart of mine
It's not my own
Make it home
Come and take this heart and make it
All Your own
Welcome home

Take a seat, pull up a chair
Forgive me for the disrepair
And the souvenirs from floor to ceiling
Gathered on my search for meaning
Every closet's filled with clutter
Messes yet to be discovered
I'm overwhelmed, I understand
I can't make this place all that You can

repeat chorus

I took the space that You placed in me
Redecorated in shades of greed
And I made sure every door stayed locked
Every window blocked, and still You knocked

repeat chorus

Take me, make me
All You want me to be

That's all I'm asking, all I'm asking

Have I cluttered my life with so much of my own wants, and must haves, and sentimental burdens, and all the crap that prevents me from loving like Jesus loved? Does this stuff rule my space and time? I haven't removed Jesus, I've just pushed him into a corner.

I've been wrestling with the need to find change in my life. Maybe it's part of turning 30 this month, and maybe not. Maybe it's just that life didn't turn out like I had it mapped.

Or maybe it's just that I need to have a little "come to Jesus" conversation...well...with Jesus.

There was a time in my life when I had confidence in the Spirit and took bold risks. And lately I feel like a spiritual dwarf.

Which makes me consider that maybe I'm not the one who's too small, but rather maybe I've secured for myself a God who's too safe and small.

and Third: Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting

Could it be that we have been this way before

I know you don't think that I am trying

I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended

I always swore to you I'd never fall apart

You always thought that I was stronger

I may have failed

But I have loved you from the start

Ohhhh

But hold your breath

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

It's impossible

So breathe in so deep

Breathe me in I'm yours to keep

And hold onto your words

'Cause talk is cheap

And remember me tonight

When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you

Over again

Don't make me change my mind

Or I won't live to see another day

I swear it's true

Because a girl like you is impossible to find

You're impossible to find

Yeah, a little sentimental, background music for a WB show...or EW....or whatever they're calling themselves. But I like it. I bought the cd based on the band name and the album cover only to say, "oh I know this song."