Contemplating My Potential for Evil

I just read this in Mark Batterson's "Wild Goose Chase":
"I'm afraid that our therapeutic approach to faith sometimes causes us to
minimize our sinfulness in a human attempt to feel better about ourselves. But
all that does is short-circuit our understanding and appreciation of God's
grace. We can't appreciate the full extent of God's grace until we realize the
full extent of our sin. Then, and only then, can we chase the Wild Goose (the
Holy Spirit) and His will for us with passion."
Reflecting on this I was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend once, confessing my struggle to faithfulness and holiness. I had been dealing with some sin my life and wasn't seeing God bring about healing and restoration in my life. I was then doubting whether I should even claim the promises of God and just return to Him the distance coldness I assumed of Him. Would just indulging my sinfulness be easier than pursuing God's righteousness? Wouldn't that at least offer me that which God was holding from me?
My friend wisely recognized that these were just my emotions and moments of despair and didn't panic to "fix" me or correct my theology. Instead he encouraged me to pursue the evil in me. To honestly see how unrighteous I could be.
I scoffed at him thinking he was mocking my personal pains. But he looked me in the eye and challenged me to indulge all my pride, lust, greed and wickedness.
I tried to sleep that night considering the permission granted me to engage in all that I spent a lifetime wrestling to avoid.
Batterson quotes C.S. Lewis in his book:
"When a man is getting better he understands more and more clearly the evil that
is still left in him. When a man is getting worse he understands his own badness
less and less."
My God's grace when considered in light of my potential for evil is more and more unfathomable. There is no sin so great that God wouldn't dare remove the burden of it's weight from you and flick it off to the most distant galaxy.
If God's grace seems small today, maybe your sin is small. To which I grant you permission to pursue your sin.
As I just considered my potential for evil I rediscovered a God who's is holy and wild and greater and worth more than any other pursuit.
I trust you will too.

p.s. i was originally typing this on my phone and when i tried to save it for further editing it published...sorry to those you read the incomplete version first...

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