I’ve probably just seen too many bank heist movies but I can’t help wanting to be part of a bank robbery. And it seems that bank robberies currently are all the rage. I can think of several recent heist movies:
· Ocean’s movies
· The Italian Job
· Inside Man
· The Bank Job
I also read a great article in last week’s Sports Illustrated on the largest cash robbery by a team that included a former UFC fighter.
Now I don’t think I’d want to be apart the actually holding up of the bank or be involved in the criminal aspects of the robbery. While I talk a big game I don’t particularly like physically hurting people just for the sport of it. Um…that’s not entirely true. More accurately I don’t particularly like seriously hurting people…squeezing a pressure point until some gives is always fun. However I will say that if I were going to be a part of a heist gang I would like the atmosphere to light and jovial. Because those movies where it’s always serious, the heist always ends with multiple deaths and failed robberies. But the movies where the atmosphere is filled with laughter and friendliness things just seem to work out.
Although I do think I’d have a knack for this type of activity. For some reason it is really important to me to know exactly where things are in a bank. For instance, today I took the deposit from work to the bank. As soon as I enter I know where all five cameras are that are pointed towards the door. There is a sixth camera that covers the rest of the small lobby. I also know how many ladies work at said bank, and would have to assume there might be one or two more in the back. I’ve seen inside the vault. I know the busy and slow times of the day. And I know where they keep their jar of lollipops, of which I prefer the root beer flavor.
I don’t see myself going into law enforcement either, so a negotiator or S.W.A.T. team member is out of the question. A bank security man doesn’t seem to appeal to me either. Expect for said robbery you’re usually just sitting around all day. Plus being in bank security and wanting to be apart of a bank robbery seem to be in direct conflict. I suppose one could be the bank security man and be a part of the heist gang, but that seems like twice as much work.
Also I don’t see myself having the type of influence that can alternately bring about resolution to this type of activity. I’m thinking here of Jodie Foster’s character in Inside Man. I bring her character up mainly because this affords me the opportunity to say that Jodie Foster looked really hot in that movie. Maybe it has to do with her long straight hair or her great legs…I don’t know, but either way she’s never looked that good to me before. (fyi…I’m watching The Brave One tonight)
Now a hostage has some potential for excitement and, in case of a long stand off, free pizza and subs. If someone is waving a gun around at me I think I can obey orders. But I think I’d also have enough courage and awareness that if one of the gunmen was not paying attention or distracted I’d do what I could to take him out. Now I’m not saying I’d be heroic or somehow have illusions of grandeur, I have seen Die Hard and know that fighting back will get your t-shirt dirty and you may lose your shoes. But I think I’d also like being a hostage for the fact that when the conflict is resolved I could write a book about the experience that would be #1 on the New York Times Bestsellers list for a few weeks and then I could sell the rights to the story and maybe have some small role in the movie. Hmmm…maybe a few illusions.
If you are looking for a good heist movie I can also recommend these to you:
- Dog Day Afternoon
- Reservoir Dogs
- Bottle Rocket
- The Score
- A Fish Called Wanda
- How to Steal a Million
- The Thomas Crown Affair (I’m talking about the original with Steve McQueen, the newer one with Bronson and Russo sucked and unfortunately there is a sequel coming out)
- The Usual Suspects
- Bonnie and
- The Getaway (I liked both the McQueen/MacGraw more than the Baldwin/Basinger, but both are good)
- the Die Hard movies
And these are few more than I want to watch:
- Dog Day Afternoon (I know, I know…how have I not seen this?)
- Sexy Beast (Kingsley is supposed to be brilliant in it)
- The Killings
- RocknRolla (directed by Madonna’s Guy)