2006-06-05

"24" Jack Bauer facts

Surely by now you've heard me say something about my obsession with the TV show "24". Below is a list of Jack Bauer facts that has been making the rounds on the internet and through e-mails. I think it's funny. You might have to be a "24" fan to get some of this, but just understand that Jack Bauer is one tough dude.

- Jack Bauer believes in Divine Election because he understands what it means to control everything.
- Jack Bauer is a Complimentarian- everyone submits to him.
- Jack Bauer once questioned the authenticity of the Bible, so he brought the authors back to life and tortured them until he was convinced they were telling the truth.
- Jesus will return when Jack Bauer dies. The problem is that he keeps coming back to life.
- Jack Bauer knows whether the earth is “young” or “old,” but no one’s successfully tortured it out of him.
- For Jack Bauer, confrontation is the only form of evangelism.
- 1/3 of the angels fell when Jack Bauer kicked them out of heaven for not telling him who they worked for.
- Jack Bauer is proof of Intelligent Design.
- Luckily, the Egyptians gave in after the 10th plague because number 11 was going to be Jack Bauer. (HT: Amy)
- The 10 spies gave a bad report because they saw Jack Bauer.
- Jack Bauer is his own accountability partner and community.

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