Leaving Well

I'm not planning any moves in my life right now.  But I don't think Andrew Mason necessarily was either when he was fired on Friday as CEO of Groupon.
However, if I was planning on leaving, or if for some reason I was let go, this letter that Mason wrote to all the Groupon employees and investors, is something I would like to emulate.

(This is for Groupon employees, but I’m posting it publicly since it will leak anyway)People of Groupon,After four and a half intense and wonderful years as CEO of Groupon, I’ve decided that I’d like to spend more time with my family. Just kidding – I was fired today. If you’re wondering why… you haven’t been paying attention. From controversial metrics in our S1 to our material weakness to two quarters of missing our own expectations and a stock price that’s hovering around one quarter of our listing price, the events of the last year and a half speak for themselves. As CEO, I am accountable.You are doing amazing things at Groupon, and you deserve the outside world to give you a second chance. I’m getting in the way of that. A fresh CEO earns you that chance. The board is aligned behind the strategy we’ve shared over the last few months, and I’ve never seen you working together more effectively as a global company – it’s time to give Groupon a relief valve from the public noise.For those who are concerned about me, please don’t be – I love Groupon, and I’m terribly proud of what we’ve created. I’m OK with having failed at this part of the journey. If Groupon was Battletoads, it would be like I made it all the way to the Terra Tubes without dying on my first ever play through. I am so lucky to have had the opportunity to take the company this far with all of you. I’ll now take some time to decompress (FYI I’m looking for a good fat camp to lose my Groupon 40, if anyone has a suggestion), and then maybe I’ll figure out how to channel this experience into something productive.If there’s one piece of wisdom that this simple pilgrim would like to impart upon you: have the courage to start with the customer. My biggest regrets are the moments that I let a lack of data override my intuition on what’s best for our customers. This leadership change gives you some breathing room to break bad habits and deliver sustainable customer happiness – don’t waste the opportunity!I will miss you terribly.Love,Andrew

2013-01-14 "You'll Find Your Way"

I'm really trying not to post videos this year, but I thought I would share this one that I just discovered was released.  It's a song by one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Andrew Peterson, called "You'll Find Your Way".
As I've been reflecting on the power of memories this song has really been speaking into my inner-dialogue.  If memories can physically transform our mind, and it is the by the renewing of our minds that we are transformed more and more into the image of Jesus, than the power of story only increases in significance since it is by rich, detailed stories that powerful synoptic connections are created in our minds and give us greater recall of lasting truths.
If we can remember the power of God in the past and the truths of God which are eternal, then perhaps we can embrace the love of Jesus now.
In Jeremiah, chapter 6, the LORD is speaking to the Israelites in their distress and He say:
     "Stand at the crossroads and look;
          ask for the ancient paths,
     ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
          and you will find rest for your souls."

So Andrew Peterson set about writing a song to one of his boys trying to impress upon him that there are foundational truths that, no matter where life takes him, he can always return to.  Here listen:

I love the imagery of this lines...

     "Go back, go back to the ancient paths

     Lash your heart to the ancient mast

     And hold on, boy, whatever you do

     To the hope that's taken hold of you

     And you'll find your way" 

2013-01-12 Up

I came across these images from the Pixar movie Up. Those first 15 minutes are brilliant.

2013-01-08 Litter

I preface the following by saying that while I try to recycle and occasionally watched Captain Planet back in the day, I certainly would not qualifiy myself as an environmentalist.

So today I was at the gas station and a car pulled up and parked. Then the passenger window rolled down a crack and the hand slipped out and threw a balled up piece of paper on the ground.

Brazen littering. Such a wierd thing to witness.

Then the passenger opened the door and exited the car. He walked the short distance from the car to the store's door, passing a trash can as he entered the store.

Brazen littering. I was almost impressed.

2013-01-07 Doctor's Appointment

I had an appointment with a doctor this morning. Almost two years since my last visit, but my chronic asthma had force me to concede another visit.
I typically don't think much of doctors.  For some reason I have never had the good fortune to be doctored (is that the right word?) by a doctor who performs their duties in that hyper-obsessed way that you see doctors on TV do.
The doctor I saw this morning saw me in an office with medical degrees of one of the other doctors in the building on the wall. And the picture frames were all crooked. I didn't have a good feeling.
I specifically scheduled this appointment because of my asthma and allergies. However, when the doctor performed his exam he didn't seem all that concerned about my asthma. He checked my ears. He checked my nose. He looked in my mouth and made me say "e-e-e". Then he started prescribing some meds for me and an allergy test (I'm going to get started on those allergy shots). And he suggested I get a CT scan.
A CT scan? Really?
Then the doctor started to leave the room as if the exam was over.  I was confused, so I asked him if he could write me some prescriptions for my asthma medications. He replied "of course" and then asked me what I wanted.The doctor asked me what medication I wanted. Does that sound odd to anyone else?
I asked if medical marijuana could relieve my asthma. Okay I didn't, but I should have.
One final thing about this whole visit. I had the doctor prescribe for me Advair. Maybe you've seen commercials for this purple disc inhaler. It's supposed to help prevent asthma symptoms. With my insurance the one month supply of this Advair rang up on the pharmacist's cash register for about $240. I told the pharmacist I would rather just wheeze all day. He stared at me as if I asked him to help me commit suicide. I was serious though and made him put it away.

2013-01-06 Ministry Experimentation

I began an experiment tonight.
For a while now I've had a vision where multiple churches could invest in one youth ministry program.  The idea is that churches in partnership can offer to students a large group setting together, and offer small group community individually.  Resources can be multiplied through sharing, influence can be leveraged at a higher level, service could be done with greater efficiency, all the while honoring individual church's DNA and values.  
So, it's taken a while, but officially tonight I began the work of blending two sets of teenagers, and two sets of adult volunteers, from two individual churches into one youth program.  And I really do believe that there is potential for additional churches to get on board.
I really have no idea what I'm doing, or how it will turn out, but I've never been more excited about student ministry.  Never more energized.  Never more scared of failure.  Never more drawn to prayer.
Should be fun.

2013-01-04 A Changed Mind

"All of our memories are bound together in a web of associations. This is not merely a metaphor, but a reflection of the brain’s physical structure. The three-pound mass balanced atop our spines is made up of somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 billion neurons, each of which can make upwards of five to ten thousand synaptic connections with other neurons. A memory, at the most fundamental physiological level, is a pattern of connections between those neurons. Every sensation that we remember, every thought that we think, transforms our brains by altering the connections within that vast network. By the time you get to the end of this sentence, your brain will have physically changed."
- Joshua Foer, Moonwalking With Einstein (emphasis mine)

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  The you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."
- Paul, Romans 12:1-2 (emphasis mine)

The thoughts of our lives, figuratively and physically transform our minds.  The thoughts we give significant emphasis to fire more synaptic connections in our mind, creating memories we have greater access to for future recall.  When we give God greater attention - practicing the presence of God, studying the Scriptures, meditating on His character and precepts, etc - we are allowing our minds to be spiritually and physically transformed and renewed.

That's just amazing.

2013-01-03

I met with a former student today.  He is in the middle of a road trip from San Antonio TX to Buffalo NY and was staying a couple of nights in Durham NC.  He wanted to meet up and even though I've been really busy lately, and didn't honestly have the time for him, the weight of his texts pinned me into submission.

We met at an area McDonald's, I purchased us some beverages, and we sat down.  At first it was some small talk, catching up.  "How is 'so and so'?"  "What are you up to?"  Then is was some memories of youth events, $5 burgers at TGIFridays, and shopping cart races in empty parking lots.

I was feeling guilty about work I was ignoring so I threw out a question hoping to wrap up the conversation and I could get back to work.  "So why aren't you at Passion this year?"  

The last time we had spoken was over a phone call about one year ago.  He had just returned to Buffalo from the Passion conference in Atlanta.  There was an enthusiasm and zeal in his voice that I had not ever heard from him before.  In fact, previously I would say that this was a young person who probably would be diagnosed as clinically depressed.  But not that day.  Over that phone call I heard a young man with fire in his bones.  A young man who had caught a glimpse of a living Jesus.

Back to today.  

"So why aren't you at Passion this year?" I asked as I began sliding out of the booth.  

"Well, that's probably something I should tell you about." he answered.  "I think I would label myself agnostic these days."  

I settled back into my booth.  What happened in the course of one year, that could quench a fire?  

Over the next hour and a half I listened to this young man express a spiritual journey he was experiencing.  He questioned every emotion he experienced, believing he had mastered the art of hypocrisy.  Masked emotions of spirituality.  Outside of the times of deep hurt and regret and shame, of which he honestly has had more than his share, everything he felt was real about Jesus, he no longer sensed.

I wanted to preach the Gospel.

I wanted to hammer him with my all my Christian apologetic training.

I wanted to wrestle his doubts into submission.

I wanted to somehow express the words that would bring life back.

Instead I listened.  I asked probing questions to get him to share his spiritual regression.

I listened.  I affirmed his doubts.  I prayed.  

I felt helpless.

I felt helpless like the time I visited him at the hospital.  He had wrecked his car on a rather dangerous stretch  of road around San Antonio.  He spent a couple of weeks in the hospital, and by all accounts was miraculously saved from a lifetime of disabilities, mentally and physically.  

I felt helpless like the time I visited him at another hospital.  His parents had been out of town, and feeling down about a relationship that had gone sour, he tried to empty his parent's liquor cabinet in one night.  His neighbor found him passed out.  The doctors pumped his stomach and keep him on watch for a couple of days to make sure that there were no repercussions.  

And I felt helpless in a booth at McDonald's today.  

Helpless.

But not hopeless.

And when his story of regression was told I tried to remind him of those other stories. 

That while he may have felt an absence of God, or a distance from God, that God was still near to him.  

I asked him to not give up hope either.  Could he hold on to the possibility that perhaps God is true, and perhaps God is still at work in this world, and that perhaps while he might be close to giving up on faith, that God had not yet given up on him. 

As an exercise in his budding agnosticism, I asked him to attempt a journaling exercise. Maybe God isn't real and active, but if He possibly is, could we record some potential 'possibly' moments of God.  If there was a moment in his day where the expressions of love or compassion or generosity or kindness or patience or grace or....wherever those expressions were evident would he jot them down in notebook or an email to me and considering the potential for God.

I left him with that.  We walked to our vehicles and said our goodbyes.  And he promised to send me his "potential God moments". 

I don't think this young man is an agnostic on the verge of atheism.  Rather, I believe this is a young man in the midst of some difficult and honest doubts.  And this doubting kid is going to send me regular updates of moments he potentially sees God.  I'll take that. 

Lord.  I'm praying for my friend tonight.  You promised that if we seek you that we would find you, if we seek you with all our hearts (Jeremiah 29:13).  That if we ask, it will be given.  That if we seek, we will find.  That if we knock, doors will be opened.  (Matthew 7:7).  So God, I'm asking for my friend, who has promised to recognize potential moments of your glory, that you bombard his life with voices of truth and grace.  Orchestrate the interactions of his days to reveal yourself through the kindness of others.  God, for my friend who considers himself alone and continually at arms length from others, would you wrap yourself around him tonight.  Overwhelm his soul in moments of stillness.

2012-01-02

I made a appointment to see a doctor today.  My appointment is Monday at 9:00am.  What a horrible time to see a doctor.  I was hoping for something in the early evening, say around 6 or 7pm.  But apparently the lady on the phone who I made the appointment with didn't think I was being serious.

I haven't seen a doctor for quite some time now.  Um....was it the Spring of 2011?  I really don't remember. And that experience was a pure waste of time.  The entire exam lasted less than 10 minutes and consisted of a student doctor listening to my lungs and a real doctor listening as well.  Guess what!  I have asthma.  Before that I haven't seen a doctor in years.

I don't see the value in making my monthly insurance payments and then paying for my copay, only to have a doctor confirm that I wasn't lying when I told them I have asthma, and finally they write me a prescription for the medication I tell I need.  Why can't I skip the doctors and just go see the pharmacist.  I need my only prescription pad.

But I do think I'll take this doctors visit seriously.  So I was trying to come up with a list of questions I should ask of my doctor.  Here are some of my questions:

- What is gluten?  Isn't it in like everything?  How does one know if they are allergic to gluten?  Am I allergic to gluten?
- Can you tell me what blood type I am?  (I can't ever remember having blood drawn).
- What is the most important change I can make to improve my health?
- What cancer screening tests are appropriate for a person my age?
- What vaccinations do I need to be up to date?
- How is my blood pressure?
- Can you give me more samples of each of the medications you're prescribing me?

What other questions should I ask?

2013-01-01

It was rainy here today.  Overcast skies and wet cement.  The perfect day to read a book, catch a movie and just enjoy the possibilities of a fresh start, new beginnings, a new year.
At some point in the day I decided to swing by the theater and catch a movie.  Something I probably wouldn't find someone else to watch with me.  Sometimes it's nice to just sporadically attend a movie.  No calling all your friends, no trying to organize a gathering of others, just sneaking off to see a movie by one self.
The theater parking lot was packed when I first pulled into the lot.  Yet for some reason I decided to gamble on finding a spot in the first row of parking spots.  And wouldn't you know it, just as I navigated down the row a car began to pull out and I was parked in record time.
I started to walk towards the box office and as I did I fell behind a group of teenage boys, probably on their way to see The Hobbit.  Yeah, I'm making assumptions.  What was specifically interesting about this group of guys was that one of them was wearing a black duster jacket and a hat.  This hat was one of those kinda pirate looking hats with a big red feather in it.  And I don't think this kid was wearing this get up ironically.  But what seemed odd is that no one else in that group, which he was the center of, resembled him at all.  It just struck me funny.
And just as I was going to shift my walking gears to a quicker pace and beat these gang of guys to the ticket window an older, fifty-ish couple stopped me.  They wanted to ask me a question.  I thought they were going to ask for directions or about a movie time.  Instead they asked me if I go to the movies often.
"Um, I suppose so," was my response.
They then proceeded to give me a gift card to this theater.  "This has $11 left on it and we never go to the movies" they said.
"Um...what movie did you just get out of?" I questioned.
"We saw Lincoln." the wife said.
"It was good." he followed.
"You're giving me a gift card to the movies, as you are leaving the movie theater, because you don't go to the movies?  Are you sure?"
"Oh, and here's a coupon for a free drink."
I stared at the blankly for a few moments and then a "wow, thank you" stumbled out of my mouth.
Not a bad outing to the movies.  Not bad at all.

The West Wing

I have a friend who came across the entire series of The West Wing on DVDs, they were being given away for free, and she grabbed them up thinking of me.  How cool is it to have friends who on occasion think of you?
I had heard of this TV show, of course, but I had never seen an episode.  Surprisingly I hadn't watched it, seeing as I'm a really big fan of Aaron Sorkin, the creator of the show.  Aaron is known for writing screenplays to movies and television with quick-paced, tightly-scripted dialogue.  Maybe you've seen one of his other shows like: Sports Night, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, or The Newsroom.  Or perhaps on of his movies: Moneyball, The Social Network, or one of my personal favorites A Few Good Men.  I think he's brilliant, and generally watch whatever project he's attached to.  So I repeat, that it was amazing that I had never seen The West Wing.
The West Wing has some incredible acting in it.  It's incredible how much talent they were actually able to amass on this show.  And throughout it's run they continue to add talent like Jimmy Smits and Alan Alda, who play candidates in an election to replace the series' president played by Martin Sheen.
I generally don't get too interested in politics, at least not the output of politics.  Obviously I care just enough to try and make the best informed decision I can make when it comes to elections.  But for the most part I don't really care who's in whatever office and whatever decisions are made.  Instead I get much more enjoyment at watching the behind the scenes and the details of how something is created more so than the actual product.  For instances, I watch all the DVD extras for all seven seasons of this show.  All the extras.
This show is a fictional glimpse at the inner workings of the people who work inside the White House and the daily happenings that help our country function.  I've recommended to one of my students that he should ask his U.S. Governments teacher if he can watch the show for extra credit.
President Jed Bartlett ranks up there with President David Palmer and President James Marshall as fictional Presidents you secret wish were actual presidents.
If you're interested in watching the series, let me know and I'll pass off the DVDs to you.

The Invisible Bike Helmet

This video is 3:36 long.  But you need to stick with most of it in order to see the invisible bike helmet.

A couple of things that stood out to me in this video are:

1. "It's chicken to be a realist"
2. "Cars are so yesterday. Bikes are the future."
3. And...they made an invisible helmet!  Incredible.

"...give us today our daily bread..."

At church the past several weeks we've been progressing through The Lord's Prayer line by line, allowing it to soak into our lives and giving it opportunities to overflow in our lives through words and deeds.  This past weekend we considered the phrases "give us today our daily bread".  A phrase that has less to do with giving or bread or frequency of giving and bread.  Rather it's a phrase in the prayer that forces us to wrestle with moving from our own perception of control to the reality of the Kingdom of God.
Specifically, my friend Jon McClarnon broken down the phrase into four separate tensions; (1) from independence to dependence, (2) from wants to needs, (3) from my bread to our bread, and (4) from the physical to the spiritual.
If your curious you can listen to it HERE.

There was a quote that Jon shared during the sermon that has been stuck in my head all week and I thought I had to share it somewhere.  It's from St. Basil...

“The bread that is spoiling in your house belongs to the hungry.  The shoes that are mildewing under your bed belong to those who have none.  The clothes stores away in your trunk belong to those who are naked.  The money that depreciates in your treasury belongs to the poor.”

Many of my middle school years involved me practicing and playing baseball outside my house for hours.  I would pitch and create entire baseball games in my imagination.  I used a tennis ball most often and throw it against the wall, where I had chalked out a strike zone.  I think of those days when I read this Calvin & Hobbes.

Quote: Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“The Word of Scripture should never stop sounding in your ears and working in you all day long, just like the words of someone you love.  And just as you do not analyze the words of someone you love, but accept them as they are said to you, accept the Word of Scripture and ponder it in your heart…until it has gone right into you and taken possession of you.”
- Dietrich Bonhoeffer, “Life Together"


My pastor, Jon McClarnon, share this quote in his sermon this past Sunday and it's been in my head all week.

"Make Every Effort"

This phrase has been in my head a lot lately. "Make every effort".

Much of the time when I consider my faith I focus on the bottom line, the minimum requirements, the smallest amount possible. What am I to avoid.  What can't I do.  What exactly do I have to do.  Give me a checklist and I'll try to accomplish that.

Or I often hear people, or hear myself suggest to people, to find balance.  Everything in moderation.  Balance your lives.  Be willing to experience the extremes, but know you can't live there.

But the language of Jesus and Peter and Paul and the writer of Hebrews is opposite of that.  Instead of defining the minimum standard and the bottom lines basics they challenge us to pursue faith the to the fullest.  Life to the fullest.  Live in the extremes.  Make every effort to embrace discipline.  Make every effort to embrace salvation.  Make every effort to embrace Sabbath.  Make every effort to embrace peace.

It seems counter intuitive sometimes.  Especially as we consider that faith is free.  And that salvation come by faith alone.  Yet we are to make every effort to enter the narrow door.  Or to make every effort to enter Sabbath rest, that seems like an oxymoron.  Make every effort to do what leads to peace.

I'm not even sure I know what MAKE EVERY EFFORT means.  Right now I just know that I don't do it enough.  And even as I typed that sentence I see the frailty of my efforts.  I want to know how much of MAKE EVERY EFFORT is enough.

What would it look like if I just went for it?  What if I just embraced passion?  How would I be different if I truly embraced the idea of MAKE EVERY EFFORT?

Luke 13:23b-25
He said to them, "MAKE EVERY EFFORT to enter through the narrow door, because many I tell you will try to enter and will not be able to.  Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, 'Sir, open the door for us.'
"But he will answer, 'I don't know you or where you come from."


Romans 14:19
Let us therefore MAKE EVERY EFFORT to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.


Ephesians 4:3
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  MAKE EVERY EFFORT to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.  There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.


Hebrews 4:11
There remains, then a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.  Let us, therefore, MAKE EVERY EFFORT, to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their example of disobedience.


Hebrews 12:14
MAKE EVERY EFFORT to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.  See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.  See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son.  Afterward as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected.  Even though he sought the blessing with tears, he could not change what he had done.


2 Peter 1:5, 10, 15
For this very reason, MAKE EVERY EFFORT to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.
Therefore, my bothers and sisters, MAKE EVERY EFFORT to confirm your calling and election.  For if you do these things, you will never stumble, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have.  I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me.  And I will MAKE EVERY EFFORT to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.


2 Peter 3:14
Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat. But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness.
So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, MAKE EVERY EFFORT to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. Bear in mind that Lord's patience means salvation, just as out dear brother Paul also wrote with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction. 

Opening Day

It's a great day.
Months and months of baseball to look forward too.
I'm trying to spend the year avoiding sports as my central conversation piece.  But I thought I'd post my preseason picks.  I'll probably have to post some mid-season picks, because you just never know...

REGULAR SEASON
NL EAST - Miami
NL CENTRAL - St. Louis
NL WEST - San Francisco
NL WILD CARD - Philadelphia (one game playoff winner)
NL WILD CARD - Arizona

AL EAST - New York
AL CENTRAL - Detroit
AL WEST - Texas
AL WILD CARD - Los Angeles (one game playoff winner)
AL WILD CARD - Tampa Bay

PLAYOFF WILD CARD
National League
     Los Angeles defeats New York
     Texas defeats Detroit

American League
     Miami defeats San Francisco
     Philadelphia defeats St. Louis


PLAYOFF DIVISION
America League
     Texas defeats Los Angeles

National League
     Miami defeats Philadelphia


WORLD SERIES
      Texas defeats Miami  (it's gonna happen this year!)

Quote: Van Gogh

“I prefer painting people’s eyes to cathedrals, for there is something in the eyes that is not in the cathedral, however solemn and imposing the latter may be – a human soul, be it that of a poor beggar or of a street walker, is more interesting to me.”

- Vincent Van Gogh

"The Potato Eaters"

Quote: Rich Mullins

"I would rather live on the verge of falling and let my security be in the all-sufficiency of the grace of God than live in some kind of pietistic illusion of moral excellence."

- Rich Mullins

Don't Look Down

I don't remember ever feeling like I suffered from vertigo.
Well, except for that time in Paris.  When I was in the sixth grade, living in West Germany, my parents sent my two older brothers and I on one day trip to Paris.  The bus tour dropped us off at the Eiffel Tower for a couple of hours.  On the second deck of the structure my brothers and I were playing around, looking down over the railings, and then whipping our heads around to stare at the top of the Tower our backs leaning against the railing, and then rolling back around towards the ground.  For some reason this stupid maneuver began to make my stomach flip. That eventually led to my brief experience of being an eleven year old lost in Paris.
Outside of that incident I have never had a problem with heights.  I've never been a fan of falling, but heights were not the issue.
Lately, however, that's not been the case.  I've been getting really queasy with certain things; the top of a ladder, hanging Christmas lights on the roof, tightrope walking between the Twin Towers, or just watching YouTube clips.  It's getting bad.
For instance: