Make me laugh

Yeah I know it's juvenille, and the man should get a ticket or a night in jail, but it really makes me laugh. Here's the headline...

California Man Arrested for Digging 50 Holes in Bike Trail

Rude bikers annoy me too.

-tsh-

Drooling

Panasonic Unveils 150-Inch Set, First Portable HD DVR PlayerNow if I can just figure out how to get it through the front door.

-tsh-

My nephew loves cars. He will sit for hours playing with them, lining them up again and again.
I wonder if he would like these?
Urban Collectibles.
But since all Matchbox and Hot Wheels eventually look like these I think I'll save myself $49.95 and just beat up some new ones.

No Comic Left Behind

Superman Finds New Fans Among Reading Instructors

Researchers at Columbia University have found through a recent study that comic books have the potential to aid young readers in the literary development.
Click on the above headline to link to the story.
There has been previous understanding that comics, with their paneled pictures and dialogue had the potential to harm young readers.
I have always struggled reading. I find myself having to reread words, sentences, paragraphs, even whole chapters numerous times until I really was able to grasp what was being communicated. I really notice this at church when singing along to songs using the hymnals or projected lyrics. I constantly mix up the words or phrases. This results in me saying/singing some major theologically inappropriate things. Perhaps even blasphemous.
But I would contribute any reading success that I have partially to having read comics growing up. Not Superman like the above story link, but a real superhero like Spider-Man.

Soul Cravings - Day 1

I posted earlier about how I had given away my copy of Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus and how much I was bummed about that. Well everyone's friend Taylor tried to anonymously give me a copy for Christmas. (Thanks Taylor!)

As I skimmed the book at my original purchase I thought the book might make for an interesting daily devotional read which I could post about daily, or as I had correlating thoughts to express.

Today I read the introduction.

Erwin is inviting us on a exploration of the human spirit, to be a sojourn with him as we search for that which can satisfy the insatiable desires we all long for. The book is divided into three quest. One in search of intimacy (love), another in search destiny (hope) and the third in search of meaning (faith).

"If we're not careful, we might find ourselves with everything this world has to offer and later find we have lost ourselves in the clutter."

"If we are not careful, we will lose our ability to see such things as beauty, truth, or even affection. More importantly, you may close your eyes to what your soul needs you most to see."

So in early reflection moments here are my questions (that I'm asking myself) and my thoughts:

• What in your life is cluttering your ability to find what you most need.
• Do you really believe that your life has an insatiable craving that can be satisfied?
• Which do you long for most? Intimacy, destiny or meaning?
• How have you seen in others these cravings?
• This book is challenging you on a journey of soul exploration. Are you prepared to open you eyes and remove the clutter in order to discover the Kingdom of God with you.
• I find it amazing that God has wired me to be lost without him. He deemed me worthy, despite my chubby cheeks and lack of fashion and myriad of other reason not to love me. Just knowing that, reminds me of how much I need that. Crave that. Imagine that.
• If bitterness is an enemy of our trilogy quest, then how do we avoid bitterness?

By Popular Demand

It was encouraged that I post the following story. I'm not really sure how this story continues to find itself in conversation, I don't even know why I last told it. However, I hope you enjoy reading it, because I find no joy in telling it.

THE WORST HANDSHAKE EVER

I was in love with a girl named Jamie Johnson.

During my days at Ozark Christian College in Joplin, MO, I served as the weekend Jr. High Pastor at a church in Tulsa, OK. 110 miles one way for two and a half years. However that is an entirely different story that someday needs telling, but for right now let's focus.

Now my church worked very well with a community of other churches, especially among the youth ministries. And our youth groups attended Sunset Bible Camp outside of Tulsa each year, in back woods Mannford.

It was there that I first met Jamie. Jamie's father is the youth pastor for Osage Hills Christian Church, for some 50 years, or at least a long time. One of the coolest guys I have ever met. Jack Bauer reminds me of him, if Jack Bauer was a faithful youth pastor in Tulsa.

Having grown up at Sunset camp Jamie returned each summer to hang out and serve the students as a sponsor. It was my second summer at camp that I first got to know Jamie. The first summer I was a little shy and too intimidated to talk with her, because honestly Jamie was gorgeous, definitely out of my league. And I'm not being coy here. Seriously I am very good looking and definitely a catch, but even still I wasn't in Jamie's league.

But that second summer Jamie and I connected over a shared interest in the boy band N'Sync. Particularly how we had both just seen the Making the Video for the song Pop. Later we became an incredibly feared team at the card game Spades. I declared her my Sandbag Queen and I was her Captain Nil. Jamie is one of the funniest people I have ever met and we laughed whenever we got together. She had a story about a foreign exchange student at her college that is one of the greatest stories I've ever heard. And apparently I'm a fun guy to hang with and have a decent sense of humor. Some thought we were a great duo.

Jamie and I hung out quite a bit that summer as well as the following fall. It became evident that I was ready to lasso the moon for Jamie and that I was completely head over heels for her. And while I had called her up (early in the week) and asked her to dinner and a movie I failed to ever qualify it as a date. I keep chickening out. All my potential dates turned into "hey, do you want to hang out this Friday?" I really loved hanging out with her and thought that surely she would reject me thereby making the friendship awkward. More than anything I didn't want to lose the friendship. And because I am the worst at reading the signals I could never make out in my mind what Jamie thought of me.

My Ozark friends keep telling me that there had to be a connection, she did agree to hang out me with. My Tulsa friends never seemed to give any response, but they nicknamed me Captain Cluck and told me that I should be more bold.

Here is where the story really starts.

At the end of 2001 I resigned from the church and had accepted a ministry position in North Carolina. Before hauling my life out east I had to finish out my time in Tulsa and say all my goodbyes and farewells with one final weekend. After all the church obligations I was hanging out at a couple of sponsors' apartment reminiscing about the past couple years. Eventually the conversation came around to Jamie and my pursuit of her, or lack thereof.

I left their apartment that night feeling bold and asking myself what did I have to lose. Jamie lived in the same apartment complex as them and since I hadn't seen her that weekend I called her up and stopped by her apartment. Now my plan was to make a goodbye statement that would make clear my intentions with Jamie. So that without any doubt Jamie would understand how I felt about her.

Now Jamie's roommate what a nut job and she and her boyfriend felt the living room was their personal make out space, except that their making out was not always limited to just kissing. So Jamie and I sat in her bedroom and retold tales and laughed. (Hanging out in the opposite sex's bedroom is not something I recommend, but trust me nothing happened...keep reading). My boldness though quickly began to waver, for at least two reasons. One: Jamie, who worked with all the beautiful people at Abercrombie & Fitch, had a huge poster of some ripped A&F dude on her wall. This only served to remind me that I was out of her league. Second: I really was Captain Cluck.

Sometime between 1 and 2 in the morning I decide it was time to make the drive back to Joplin, MO. Jamie and I stood outside her apartment door on the stairway balcony with the moon light competing against the street lamps. I knew this was my last chance. My mind was clear, I had my moves planned out. I was going to wrap my right hand around the back of Jamie's neck and my left around her waist, bring her close and plant my intentions on her lips. I knew that this kiss would span the distance of my upcoming move and surely we would could make a long distance relationship work.

While my head was clear, the wiring of my body was faulty. My right hand began to move toward Jamie, but not towards her neck, rather... I stuck out my hand and shook Jamie's hand goodbye. As my hand moved, everything began to progress in slow motion. My mind began to scream "What are you doing?! Don't shake her hand?! Are you an idiot?!" But I was stuck in a trance and could not control myself.

Shocked by what was happening I said, "I guess I see you later."

I turned around and walked down the stairs toward my car. As I sat down behind the wheel I quickly came up with a Plan B. I thought everything could be salvaged if I would just go back up to her apartment, knock on the door and restart my original plan without saying a word. I knew... this was a great plan, seriously how romantic is that? However I must have still been in my trance because all I could do was start my car and exit the apartment complex.

Before I knew it I was on I-40 making my final journey on the Roy Rogers Expressway. I couldn't think of anything to say or do. Nothing. My mind could do absolutely nothing but curse myself. So I began to swear. Again and again. I shouted every expletive known to man and a few more I made up. So lost was I in my complete failure as a man that I completely missed paying the toll. Something I didn't notice until I arrived home and still had my toll money sitting in my passenger seat.

A couple days later I called some Tulsa friends and asked about Jamie and if she had mentioned me at all. One Tulsa friend, Anita, replied that Jamie's words to her were, "Oh that Trevor." I never knew what that meant, and I never went back. However after a retelling of this tragedy to some friends a couple of years back they insisted that I find out what became of Jamie. We called Anita and learned that Jamie has since married.

So there you go. After sharing this I know that I'll never get a normal handshake from anyone, and the mocking may never cease, but...there you go.

This is the Captain speaking, and someday this chicken may just fly.

New Year's Resolutions

I have never made New Year's Resolutions, but this year I have a few that I deem worthy. I'll share a few of them with you.


#1. Dr. Pepper Fast. Everyone who knows me knows that I love Dr. Pepper (and Mr. Pibb is not a worthy substitute). However I will be abstaining from the beverage, as well as all soda for the entire year. I'll also be blogging about the effects of the withdrawal, I expect a lot of headaches. I will be willing to break the fast under one condition which I will explain in a later post.

#2. Memorize Colossians. I have memorized large passages of Scripture before but never a whole book. I thought I start with Colossians. And actually I hope to have this memorized before the summer.

#3. Read 40 Books. I've never counted how many books I read in a year, but I thought this would be a good trackable number to pursue.

#4. Map out TV show idea and make two contacts in order to sell it. Every now and then I have a moment of brilliance. I still claim that the premise for my last idea was stolen from me. Currently I have another idea, but have no contacts in order to pitch this idea. I'd share it with you, but last time I let out an idea 24 got made.

#5. See a doctor and get asthma under control. I haven't seen a doctor in over two years and that was just to get a prescription renewal, but I've really been struggling lately. I may need to get allergy shots and readjust my prescriptions.

#6. Organize and minimize my closet. I believe I have more clothes than I need, and I really don't have a lot. But I still feel like I paying to store crap I don't use. I want to reduce what I have. Also I think it may be the time in my life to finally buy a suit.

What about you? Do you have any resolutions?
or
Would you suggest anymore goals for me?

Good Times

Quite the event filled day.
I woke up this morning and remembered I had promised the Deuce that I would help him move some of his storage stuff from one storage place to another.
Before heading out we had lunch at the nearby Chili's.
FYI, the Deuce had himself a hankering for some cake at the Chili's. White Chocolate Molton Cake. But he was able to refrain from ordering it at the last second. I will have to say that the Deuce, left our cute (although I suspect cigarette smoking) waitress a good tip. Actually in all fairness to the Deuce he's a good tipper (Deuce if you reading this, well done).
After lunch with the help of Adam we transported the Deuce's things. I would like to mention that I have no problem helping anyone move, but please observe my one helping-someone-move rule. The rule states, "I have no problem helping you move your crap, I just refuse to pack it." That's just a little nugget of info for you to put away if you are thinking of moving and asking me to help.
Again I had no problem helping the Deuce, first because he bought lunch, but second because of the crap we were moving. The Deuce at some point in his west Texas life acquired what seems to be the entire remaining stock of the once great CD source called Awakening Records.
Maybe you've heard of this company that was originally based out of North Carolina. (In fact when I moved to NC, this was a selling point, thinking that all the Awakening Records artist would be frequent visitors.) Awakening Records helped independent bands distribute their materials. Bands including; Caedmon's Call, Bebo Norman, Waterdeep, Nickel and Dime, 100 Portraits, Andrew Peterson, V.O.L. and many many more.
Anyways as a thank you the Deuce said Adam and I could take whatever music we were interested in. I came home with (holy crap I just added them up) 42 new CDs. And I didn't even see the V.O.L. stock. (Deuce did I just miss those?)
Then tonight the Deuce, Chris Morton, Rachel D., Talia, Katie Kirby, my sisters Cayla and Lauren and I went to Sweeney Todd. Does saying that I really enjoyed the dumping of the bodies make me sick? Cause I laughed every time. The movie is definitely dark and twisted, but really enjoyable.
Katie Kirby showed up a little late and we had saved her a seat on the end of the row, thereby saving her from having to crawl over everyone's lap. However when she arrived she went up the wrong set of stairs and squeezed past the entire row of people to get to her seat. Of course this is hilarious, and I am thinking I may do it at the next movie I see just for fun.
Finally after the movie a few of us went to get something to eat at the Canyon Cafe just around the corner. There we had one of the oddest and most inappropriate waitress experiences ever. As our waitress was introducing herself she felt the need to let us know that she claps when having sex with her boyfriend. We didn't know how to respond to this but were able to put it aside while the Deuce told us about a recent phone call of his (I told him to post the story on his blog and if he does I'll be sure to link everyone to it...funny stuff). At the end of our meal as the waitress was gathering a few plates and recommending the desserts she made another odd statement. She said, and I'm not lying one bit, "Do you know what kind of cake I really enjoy? Penis cake? Would anyone like cake tonight?" Seriously how do you respond to this? Now Chris and I heard what she said, but apparently the Deuce did not, because he responded with enthusiasm over the possibility of cake. I politely told the waitress that I was adamantly opposed to cake and left the table to get myself a toothpick.
When I returned and the story of the waitress' remarks were retold I reminded everyone of how much the Deuce had been wanting cake today at Chili's. The Deuce, by means of sign language, told me I was #1.

Good Times!

911

I had to call 911 tonight.
After returning home from the movie I saw a large truck squealing out of control down the short road in front of my apartment complex. The truck ran over a medium and blew a front tire and I think two of the four back tires. The tires exploding was so loud I thought for a moment that the truck hit a tree.
I followed the truck into the gas station around the corner and detailed the events and vehicle to the dispatcher. I hung around for a bit and spoke with the officer when she arrived. Once she was satisfied that the drivers were not intoxicated enough (?) to take any action I took off.
Anyways I thought I'd let you'll know, it's been a while since I've dialed 911.

AVPR

Tonight I went to see Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem. Loved it!!! Definitely better than AVP. I went with my sister Chelsy, Rachel G. and the Deuce. Chelsy said she liked it, but the Deuce was disturbed.
I remember watching the original movies uncut at Eddie Boykin's house and reading the comics during a night of fierce Risk playing (FYI, I also went home Risk champion and have remained undefeated).
It still has some way to go to top the original Predator movies and the first two Alien films. Nevertheless, very fun. We are learning more and more about the Predator world and this movie is building for something even larger. If you are a fan of the others definitely check it out. I don't thinks it's a home run, there is a little too much humans story, but the building up for a serious major confrontation is exciting.
I don't want to say too much and spoil anything for someone who is going to see it, but I do want to say that I think this may be the bad-ess Predator to date.
There is no major Hollywood names in the film, except for Reiko Aylesworth of former 24 fame.

Goat!

Chris Jesse, son-in-law of University of Texas football head coach Mack Brown, has my vote for goat of the year. Chris reached out from the sidelines and touched a live ball. He is so lucky Texas went on to win the game.

Time Traveling

I completely missed that December 8th was Pretend Your A Time Traveler Day. When Dec. 8th, 2008 rolls around I'm going to time travel back to Dec. 8th, 2007 so that I can celebrate it properly.

There are some details that you might be interested in for next year. Click HERE.

When will you be Dec. 8th, 2008?

JUNO

I have been anticipating this movie for some time and after viewing it last night I was not disappointed. This is an incredibly beautiful film with a kick-arse soundtrack!

Seriously I laughed and groaned, but surprisingly didn’t cry. The characters were so good in this movie. I can’t recall the last female teenage character that was written so well, a young girl with obvious flaws but so likable at the same time. The rest of the cast has amazing depth, but I don’t feel that any of them consumed much of the movie, or overplayed their roles. Juno’s parents, or Paulie (aka Bleeker - her boyfriend/baby’s father), of the adoptive family are all extremely prominent characters but don’t necessarily fill the screen time. The film is definitely about Juno and her journey, but I could easily watch a movie about any of the other characters: Rollo (the convenience store clerk), Jennifer Gardner’s expectant mother, J.K. Simmons’ flawed father, etc.

So I have a couple of questions:
1. Did anyone else run home and download the Moldy Peaches song? (I provided the lyrics down below for you all)
2. Does anyone think that their parent's would react like Juno's? My sister leaned over to me and said, "Can you imagine Mom and Dad?"
3. Did anyone else let out groan when Juno began applying her make-up before visiting Jason Bateman. This is when I knew trouble was brewin'.

Final thoughts:
- Diablo Cody has an incredible story. I completely see her in Juno. (I would love to have her cynicism in the church)
- I can't wait to find someone who has sunshine beaming out of her ass. Great fatherly advise!

ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU by The Moldy Peaches

You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on you're back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train
I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't, you forgive me?
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

I will find my nitch in your car
With my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitar
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du

Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

You are always trying to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Don Quijote was a steel driving man
My name is Adam I'm your biggest fan
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Squinched up your face and did a dance
You shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu du
But you

Is this serious?

I had only heard rumors and now I see this...

"You're worth more dead than alive."

It's A Wonderful Life is on TV tonight. A great movie. There is so many great moments in this film. I can easily say I've seen this movie twice a year for as long as I can remember and it never gets old. I even love it in French, or at least the part that was on Home Alone.

Hopefully you've seen it, if not I'm not sure we can truly be friends.

I think part of the movie's continued success is the reminder of perspective it offers us at the end of each year.

Clarence, the angel tells George, "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"

Do you ever have George Bailey moments of doubt? Where you question you're life's substance and significance, because things didn't happen the way you mapped them out.

For me to be an honest man I must confess that I've been having a George Bailey year. No, I'm not ready to jump off a bridge - I hate the feeling of falling, but this year has not followed my road map to success.

Like George, however, I do want to have the character, integrity and commitment he was able to demonstrate despite the circumstances of his life. Oh and a hot wife like Donna Reed (am I the only one who thinks this?).

"What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary."

By popular demand I will be posting my most famous handshaking story sometime this week...be prepared.

Blessed and Blessings

The moon is full tonight. It's bright orange and hanging just above the tree line, low enough that I could almost reach up and steal it from the sky.
It was a beautiful treat after a joy filled service this evening. The community center was packed and more than twice as many seats were needed as were set up.
Chelsy, my sister, stepped in last minute for some sick vocals and sang with Kyle our worship pastor. Not just background, but she also preformed a solo. I love when she sings. I know I hear with brother's ears, but she is an amazing singer.

May the God of the traveling Tabernacle and the great Holy Temple dwell richly in you this Christmas. May you know and experience the Love that came down to earth to come close to you and me, closer than our moon tonight. May you walk with God, may you be filled with his Spirit and may his kingdom come.

Christmas Favorite

I thought I'd share my favorite Christmas album with you. That is my favorite album after the mix CD I recieved this year (shout out!).
Several years back I picked up Your King Has Come, a compilation including Derek Webb, Sandra McCraken, Matthew Smith, Andrew Osenga, Jill Philips and others.
You can actually listen to some by clicking HERE.
I have to play and listen to it beginning to end several times throughout the holidays.
There is a version of O Come All Ye Faithful by Mandy Ihrig (now Mann) that continues to reign towards the top of my list of favorite Christmas songs recorded ever.

Partnership

By way of Aaron Chambers' blog. I met Aaron several years back when I was interning for CIY and have always loved his teaching and preaching.

Kingdom Come

This is partly why I dispise musicians.
Shaun Groves posted the following video on his blog today. He's calling it a draft. I think it's amazing already...print it. I wish I had any musical talent.
Here's the video and lyrics below. Visit his site and offer any suggestions to the song if you have any.


Kingdom Come (First Draft in C)
Words & Music by Shaun Groves

Verse 1:
Oh, God what do we see and hear
Your kingdom coming
Oh, God why do we bleed and fear
Your kingdom coming

Let it come in us
Let it come through us-

Chorus:
‘Til the sword is spared
And the bread is shared
‘Til the dying’s done
Let your kingdom come
‘Til the rich ones give
And the poor ones live
‘Til the weak are strong
Let your kingdom come

Verse 2:
Oh, God what do we pray down here
Your kingdom coming
Oh, God why do we slave through tears
Your kingdom coming

Let it come in us
Let it come through us-

(Repeat Chorus)

Bridge:
Your mercy come
Your justice come
Your will be done through us on earth
Your healing come
Your peace will come
Your will be done through us on earth

(Repeat 1/2 Verse 2)

(Repeat Chorus)

Favorite

I saw this by way of Stevan, by way of this website.